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Why did the electrician close early on from Flashcomment Business jokes Jokes
Why did the electrician close early on Mondays? Because business was very light.

The Americans and the Japanese decided to from Flashcomment Business jokes Jokes
The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance levels. On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile. The American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommend corrective action. The Japanese team had six people rowing and one person steering and rowing; the American team had two people rowing and five people steering. After a year of study and thousands spent analyzing the problem, the consultant firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the American team. So as race day neared again the following year, the American team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure for the American s was: one quality assurance manager, two steering managers, one area steering managers, and a new performance review manager for the two people rowing the boat to provide work incentive. That year, the Japanese won by TWO miles !!! Humiliated, the American corporation laid off the rowers for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem.

The social worker asked the bartender Whats from Flashcomment Business jokes Jokes
The social worker asked the bartender "What's the difference between your job and mine?" The bartender replied: "I only had to go to bartender school for 6 weeks and I learned to mix a very good drinks, than wait a couple of hours to have people tell me their innermost thoughts while you went to school for 6 years, paid thousands and thousands of dollars, sit session after session using technique after technique, and you still may never hear them!!!

INTERVIEWER to job applicant Do you think from Flashcomment Business jokes Jokes
INTERVIEWER to job applicant: "Do you think you could come up with any reason you want this job other than your parents want you out of their house?"

Boss I can assure you that the from Flashcomment Business jokes Jokes
Boss: "I can assure you that the value of the average employee will continue to increase." Employee: "That's because there will be fewer of us doing more work, right?" Boss: "Right. Except for the 'us' part."

Boss Ive decided to use humor in from Flashcomment Business jokes Jokes
Boss: "I've decided to use humor in the office. Experts say humor eases tension, which is important in times when the work force is being trimmed. "Knock knock." Employee: "Who's there?" Boss: "Not you anymore."

After being laid off from five different from Flashcomment Business jokes Jokes
After being laid off from five different jobs in four months, Arnold was hired by a warehouse. One day he lost control of a forklift and drove it off the loading dock. Surveying the damage, the owner shook his head and said he'd have to withhold ten percent of Arnold's wages to pay for the repairs. "How much will it cost?" asked Arnold. "About $4,500," said the owner. "What a relief!" exclaimed Arnold. 'I've finally got job security!"

A businessman who needed millions of dollars from Flashcomment Business jokes Jokes
A businessman who needed millions of dollars to clinch an important deal went to church to pray for the money. By chance he knelt next to a man who was praying for $100 to pay an urgent debt. The businessman took out his wallet and pressed $100 into the other man's hand. Overjoyed, the man got up and left the church.The businessman then closed his eyes and prayed, "And now, Lord, that I have your undivided attention .... "

Im very sad to announce this morning from Flashcomment Business jokes Jokes
'I'm very sad to announce this morning, girls, that Miss Jones has decided to retire,' said the principal at morning assembly. ' Now we will all stand and sing this morning's hymn....now Thank We All Our God.'

An American manufacturer is showing his machine from Flashcomment Business jokes Jokes
An American manufacturer is showing his machine factory to a potential customer from Albania. At noon, when the lunch whistle blows, two thousand men and women immediately stop work and leave the building. "Your workers, they're escaping!" cries the visitor. "You've got to stop them." "Don't worry, they'll be back," says the American. And indeed, at exactly one o'clock the whistle blows again, and all the workers return from their break. When the tour is over, the manufacturer turns to his guest and says, "Well, now, which of these machines would you like to order?" "Forget the machines," says the visitor. "How much do you want for that whistle?"

Two government economists were returning home from from Flashcomment Business jokes Jokes
Two government economists were returning home from a field meeting. As with all government travelers, they were assigned the cheapest seats on the plane so they each were occupying the center seat on opposite sides of the aisle. They continued their discussion of the knotty problem that had been the subject of their meeting through takeoff and meal service until finally one of the passengers in an aisle seat offered to trade places so they could talk and he could sleep. After switching seats, one economist remarked to the other that it was the first time an economic discussion ever kept anyone awake.

Kowalski fresh out of accounting school went from Flashcomment Business jokes Jokes
Kowalski, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about him and his education, but then asked him, "What is three times seven?" "Twenty-two," Kowalski replied. After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator (he knew he should have taken it to the interview!) and realized he wouldn't get the job. About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was hired for the job! He was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but was still very curious. The next day, Kowalski went in and asked why he got the job, even though he got such a simple question wrong. The boss shrugged and said, "Well, you were the closest."

Mom and Dad are in the iron from Flashcomment Business jokes Jokes
Mom and Dad are in the iron and steel business. She does the ironing and he does the stealing.

There was once a highpowered businessman who from Flashcomment Business jokes Jokes
There was once a high-powered businessman who insisted on taking his three secretaries everywhere with him - a tall one for writing longhand, a short one for taking down shorthand, and a very small one for adding footnotes.

On the first day his son joined from Flashcomment Business jokes Jokes
On the first day his son joined the family firm, the founder took him on to the roof of the factory building and said, 'I am going to give you your very first lesson in business. Stand on the edge of the roof.' Reluctantly, the boy went to stand on the edge of the roof. 'Now,' said his father, 'when I say, "Jump," I want you to jump off the roof.' 'But, Dad,' said the boy, 'there's a huge drop!' 'Do you want to succeed in business?' 'Yes, Dad.' 'And you trust me, don't you?' 'Yes, Dad.' 'So do as I say and jump.' The boy jumped. He crashed to the ground and lay there, winded and bruised. His father went racing down the stairs and ran up to him. That was your first lesson in business, son. Never trust anyone.'

What did the ruthless businessman say to from Flashcomment Business jokes Jokes
What did the ruthless businessman say to his employees? If at first you don't succeed - you're fired!

What happens when business is slow at from Flashcomment Business jokes Jokes
What happens when business is slow at a medicine factory? You can hear a cough drop.

Monster Stick em down Ghost Dont you from Flashcomment Business jokes Jokes
Monster: Stick 'em down. Ghost: Don't you mean, stick 'em up. Monster: No wonder I'm not making much money in this business.

Did you hear about the businessman who from Flashcomment Business jokes Jokes
Did you hear about the businessman who is so rich he has two swimming pools, one of which is always empty? It's for people who can't swim!

What business is King Kong in Monkey from Flashcomment Business jokes Jokes
What business is King Kong in? Monkey business.